How Red is Your State?

My state, Oklahoma, gave John McCain the highest percentage of votes in all the states he won (and Barack the lowest).

John McCain won every county in the state.

Our state legislature is controlled by the Republican Party.

We're so Red that even though the Supreme Court has said it's illegal to put Ten Commandment monuments on public property we told the Ruth Bader Ginsburg Supreme Court to go screw itself we was gonna do it anyway.

We are still gonna give ever school child the right to refuse answering certain questions in school. If the answer just might insult your religious upbringing you can just tell the teacher to stuff it. Next time Old Man Goolsby wants my boy, Ansel to tell 'em what pi is he can just tell him that is against his religion and there ain't a damned thing he can do about it.

We gonna kill frivolous lawsuits deader than a Pinto driver that backed into the side of a Chevy pick-up. All pain? No gain!!!

Our Wal-Marts are at the top of the high-end shopping districts.

The only evolution we hear about around here is that old timey Beatles album.

Rush Limbaugh is our state spokesman.

The only thing separating our church from our state is a property line but both are mowed by the same guy.

English is the only official state language, excepting all them other languages that the Tribes are speaking at their various casinos and the occasional Spanish you hear above the roar of the mowers and thuds from roofing hammers.

Illegal immigrants? Hell we make them damned Texans show us a green card just to get across the Red River.

We replaced the statue Sequoyah in the state house with one of Garth Brooks.

And your state?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Fang1944 on April 27, 2009 at 4:39pm

Rick is pretty embarrassing. I take comfort in the fact that Texas has had great governors like Sam Houston (who opposed secession) and Anne Richards. Only the nutjobs are talking about seceding; see John Kelso's column in the Austin American Statesman.

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Permalink Reply by Maynard on April 27, 2009 at 9:26pm

Don't forget Texas's greatest Governor!!!

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Permalink Reply by What-a-Dick on July 31, 2009 at 6:24am

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Permalink Reply by Hillbilly on April 27, 2009 at 9:27pm

My state is so red.....

it's South Carolina. duh. North Carolina is embarrassed to share half a name with us.

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Permalink Reply by Aaron on April 27, 2009 at 11:35pm

My state's so red a liberal is someone with only one shotgun in the truck.

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Permalink Reply by Hillbilly on April 28, 2009 at 4:52pm

My state is so red we make people buy guns at the border and dispose of them in Mexico.

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Permalink Reply by Maynard on April 28, 2009 at 6:53pm

I believe Obama would call that "Spreading the Second Amendment around."

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Permalink Reply by Carl Owen on July 31, 2009 at 7:52am

Ha! Not only have we declared Sovereignty under the Tenth we've got State Representative Sally Kern reading a proclamation form the state capitol blaming gays, liberals, atheists and Democrats for failing marriages, declining civility, global warming, poor public education, the rise in crime and the fall of the economy. Top that!!!

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/sally-kerns-proclamation-mora...